I remember it like it was yesterday; I was 8 years old and my daddy passed away of a heart attack at the young age of 32. When my mom told me I threw myself down on the floor. I screamed no, she was lying. I beat my fists as hard as I could on that old wooden floor for all the anger, fear and loneliness. I then got up and went to kitchen, tears streaming down my face I began to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Still sobbing I walked to the end of our drive way and I ate that sandwich as I sat there all alone, crying and feeling so lost. I didn’t even realize the sandwich was gone. I hadn’t even tasted it yet something deep within my soul said that sandwich and food in general would be all that I trusted for the rest of my life.
My life changed that day in more ways than one might imagine as I not only lost my dad, my rock, my hero but the reality of the 25year young broken, addicted and abusive mother was all I had left. She did her best yet in her own brokenness she struggled daily with her own demons. The constant physical and verbal abuse was terrifying but not nearly as painful as the loneliness I felt from the hole left in my heart. I kept eating as food seemed my only friend. The only constant that would never leave me, never hurt me so I thought.
I went in and out of foster homes over and over again as my mom would go through programs convincing judge after judge that she was better and ready to raise her child only to soon go back to her old ways. I was broken even further as I was sexually abused by one of the many foster parents at the age of 9. In my eyes it was just another reason to never trust anyone because trusting someone meant pain and hurt. So I ate. And this is the reason that I am so honored and humbled that Isagenix has paired up with Child Help. Changing the live of abused and neglected children is so very near and dear to my heart. As I said from my heart at Celebration 2010 "Had Child Help been in my life perhaps I might not have weighed nearly 900lbs." I finally got out of foster care and away from my abusive life and family at the age of 18; I weighed nearly 600lbs.
That wasn't the end of the abusive trail as one might imagine when that is what you have known and conditioned to live it is a hard habit to leave behind. All along the way through my young adult life my only constant was food.
I had an extensive 6 month hospital stay in 2005 due to one of the many complications of now weighing nearly 900lbs. At the end of my hospital stay it was made clear to me that I would not be able to go home without constant care so my only other option was a convalescent home. I couldn’t imagine myself at 30 years old in a convalescent home so I put my pride away and asked one of my friends who at the time had just completed his CNA certification process if he would be interested in living with me and helping with my care. To my surprise this 25yr old young man said yes. He began staying at the hospital with me so the numerous doctors and nurses could help train him in the many aspects of my specific care. Essentially he was taking on what it took 6 nurses to do. And yet he never showed any fear and never complained.
One day after months of his care at home he finally convinced me to go out after nearly 10 years of shutting myself away. He took me to Costco. I had no idea what a Costco was. It was just a place to go wander around and to show me something I had never imagined much less seen. I remember having such anxiety over getting out in public. I was so afraid of the stares, the looks of disdain and disgust. The comments about my weight that just broke my heart even more each and every time; essentially making me feel unworthy of the air that I breathed. My care giver, bless his amazingly compassionate heart looked me in the eyes and said “we can do this together. I won’t let anyone hurt you and I promise if you want to leave we will. Let’s just try.” As I felt his love I agreed to get out and go in. He got me situated in my wheel chair. My hands were wet with sweat. He began pushing the wheel chair toward the entrance as I looked around in disbelief. I had never seen such huge store and I couldn’t imagine what must be inside. I was trying not to make any eye contact with anyone as I didn’t want to know that they were staring at me. That is when we ran into this 60ish year old man who was on his way out the door when his mouth dropped to the ground and with this sour look of disgust on his face he said “Holy sheep shit you’re as big as a whale!” I wanted to crawl in a hole. I put my head down and felt my whole body begin to shake as I wanted to run away crying. As if I didn’t know how big my body was. My caregiver stopped and I thought he was going to knock that poor mans head off; he didn’t; he said to him “Sir
I thank God for his strength every single day. I know I was sent an angel who has watched over me, cared for me and done what most would never do as far as my physical care. But more importantly I am blessed with someone who has taught me what unconditional love truly is; as he loved me even in my brokenness when I was unable to even love myself. And that is why I am so honored to be able to call him not just my caregiver and best friend but my boyfriend whom I love with all my heart and together we know that someday in our future we will be married and live long happy, healthy lives together.
In January 2009 I had just had a horrifying trip to the hospital in which 20 or so paramedics, firemen, sheriffs and CHP stood around me assessing how to get me to the hospital as I was not only nearly 900 lbs but I was very sick!
After much discussion and collaboration they decided that they couldn’t transport me as their gurney weight capacity was 350lbs and they couldn’t put me on the floor due to insurance purposes so as a last resort the fire chief looked my care giver in the eye and he said to him does that pick up run? My care giver said yes it ran on 2 chick lets and a prayer. It was a beat up pick up truck that he used to haul our trash to the dump. So the CHP and the fire chief had collaborated and he said to me and to my care giver “we are going to get her to the back of that pick up, she is sick and we have to get her out of here. Buddy you drive like H*** and get her to that hospital. (The hospital was and hour and half away!) My care giver didn’t bat an eye…I on the other hand was mortified!
They put a tarp under me and all of them took an edge and they heaved me off my bed onto the floor, then it was a heaving process until we got to the tail gate of that truck. All I could think was dear God please protect the or backs and their bodies and please dear Lord protect me from the physical pain but more so comfort me from the mental anxiety and shame that I was I feeling. They heaved me into the back of the truck leaving their tarp under me because the back of truck was so disgusting and I was full of open wounds. The CHP gave my care giver his card and said GO! And away we went!
2 weeks in the hospital on IV antibiotics and they were sending me home! I was surprised it was one of my shortest stays ever. But as most I certainly wasn’t going to complain as the thought of being back in my own home was so comforting.
By the way it was the same mortifying heaving tarp and truck ride home and to get back in my home to my hospital bed which awaited me in the middle of my living room floor. It was my 35th birthday that day too so I thought what a gift I get to go home.
After a bit of time to recover to recover I began looking at my release paperwork trying to figure which doctors I needed to make follow up appointments with and what prescriptions I needed to call in or have dropped off. Flipping through all the papers I wondered in my head “I wonder why they sent me home as I am more sick than when I went in there?” Yet I was so sick and so drugged it quickly passed and it was then that I saw one of the papers that read “Release patient to home for dignity to die.” I immediately thought they had given me someone else paperwork. I looked at the top of that paper and there was my sticker. It had my name, my birth date etc. I looked back down and re read “Release patient to home for dignity to die.” It was in that very moment that it dawned on me that I was NOT going to live to see my 36th birthday! I began to cry as this deep, dark hopelessness overwhelmed me.
My pity party was cut short by the realization that doing nothing is what got me where I was so I began to try to think of just how I was going to get surgery as I believed that weight loss surgery was going to be the ONLY thing that would save my life.
I had begged doctors for years for the surgery and had been turned down again and again as I far surpassed their 398 weight limit for insurance purposes and I also had many other health issues.
I found a doctor in Texas who approved me and sent me my paperwork. I was elated! But as I read the paperwork I saw that my share of cost was $10k. You might of well have said 10 million dollars to me as it was just as far fetched. Being on SSI disability and receiving a little over $700 a month was challenging enough and it certainly didn’t leave any left to stash away in a savings. Needless to say I didn’t have $10k and I had no one I could ask for that kind of money. To be honest I didn’t have anyone I could ask $10 of much less $10k. So my brain clicked and I thought I will make a flyer. I will put my “FAT” picture on there. I will explain my desperation to live and hopefully the people in the community will help me. I even had to ask my visiting nurse if I could put her name and number on there as a contact because we had no phone at that time. When I was done I asked my care giver if he would go and put the flyers up in business windows and message boards and of course he did.
It was about 2 weeks later that my visiting nurse who used to come to my home daily told me she had been called by this woman who wanted to talk with me about this nutritional stuff. I kind of felt offended and was like really? Are you kidding? I mean I am asking for financial help to save my life and this lady has the audacity to call me trying to sell me some diet gimmick. She left me her number as she had surprised me with a go phone a card with some minutes in case of an emergency and told me I should at very least call her and explain my situation. I didn’t and a few days later my nurse tells me she is still getting calls from this woman could I please call her. She explained that the woman seemed really nice and the stuff she was telling her about might just help me even if it was just until I raised the money to have surgery.
I finally reluctantly called. I already had my plan to explain my health and financial situation and to thank her but not wanting to waste her time I just wasn’t interested. Boy was I surprised when she began. She wouldn’t take any of my excuses. She wasn’t taking NO for an answer and I was getting really irritated as in my heart of hearts I truly felt I had tried every diet, every pill, shots, acupuncture, every fad, gimmick over the counter, made up, or through the doctor and most of them 3 or 4 times. I mean really I had tried and every time I would have some success only to gain it all back plus more.
I just knew in my heart I couldn’t fail. Not one more time could I fail. If I failed again it would mean death and that evoked a fear in me that to this day makes hairs rise on my arms.
I finally reluctantly agreed to have my caregiver meet with her and her partner in a public place so as to keep her out of my humble little run down home where I sat ever so sick in the middle of my living room in that hospital bed. I explained to my caregiver the situation. I told him “please go and meet with these ladies. Listen to their spiel and then please explain my health situation and my desperate need for the money to have that weight loss surgery. He agreed and left to go meet them.
1 hour passed, 2 hours, now 3 hours passed and I am beginning t get a bit irritated as I needed help to go potty and my help had disappeared on me. I mean really how long did it take to tell them no thank you.
Just about that time he cam walking through the door and he had the biggest smile on his face and he began telling me with this excitement in his voice about this nutritional stuff and how great it is and how it might help me. I started laughing and said to him “Are you kidding me? They’ve brain washed you too!” He just looked at me with this smile and said by the way they will be here in about 10 minutes and he quickly walked away to make use of the 10 minutes by picking up some things rather quickly.
As you might imagine if I could have gotten out of that bed to lob his head off at that point I would have but since I couldn’t I thought OK you just wait until they leave I will take care of you after I tell them myself NO THANK YOU!!!
Here they came. I was so ashamed of myself and my home. If I could’ve crawled in a hole I would have. Too my surprise neither lady seemed to bat an eye at my size. It was then that I was introduced first to Regina who explained she was there because Shylynn who had seen my flyer and who adamantly knew they had what could save my life was deaf. So Regina with all her talent and expertise interpreted as Shylynn and I connected in the heart on a level that was understood just by the shear look of love in her eyes as she looked at me with such love and compassion.
The fact that neither seemed to even realize just how big I was shocking as most did and with good reason. How often do you see a nearly 900lbs body on a 5’2 frame? What I noticed was that they both looked me in the eyes and with all genuineness of heart they began to educate me about what these nutritional products had to offer. They explained with compassion about some of the products and then one of them handed me this little shot glass with this liquid in it and told me to drink it. I gulped it down and thought well that was that bad I guess. It didn’t taste good but it was tolerable! We kept talking and then about 5 minutes into our conversation I stopped mid sentence and I said “Oh my gosh, you won’t believe this, I feel like a 10 year fog has just been lifted off my brain!” It was almost surreal. I didn’t know why it had happened but it was very profound and I truly hadn’t felt that clear minded in years! They both immediately started laughing and giggling and one of them began digging through her rather large stack of papers she came armed with. When she got down to the very bottom of her pile she pulls out this little flyer and hands it to me. I start reading it. “Ok Ionix Supreme…blah blah blah…antioxidants, minerals blah blah blah.” Then I get to the very bottom and it says “mental clarity.” I think to myself “could this have really just worked that fast for ME?” “Could these products possibly help me?” A moment of hope came in my heart but was quickly stolen away by that fear of failing again so I quickly discredited it and went back to telling the 2 ladies no thank you.
Thankfully they we more persistent than I was resistant and it was not long before I began my own health and wellness journey. I was for the first time ever feeding my body the nutrition it truly needed and I was astounded by how my body responded. I immediately felt clearer mentally. I had a spark in me again. I felt like I had energy as before I slept my days and nights but no longer. I couldn’t believe that my body wasn’t craving all the foods and sugary drinks that I had always found such comfort in. In fact when I tried to go back and sneak an old favorite it didn’t taste the same to me and I no longer enjoyed its flavor and I certainly quickly learned I didn’t like how it made me feel either.
In the first 30 days I shed 45lbs. But I was still skeptical as 45lbs was not even a drop in the bucket for the journey I had ahead of me. Just past the 3rd month I had released 100lbs! I was excited yet I still wasn’t fully convinced. I just kept putting the nutrition in my body and surprisingly the weight just kept melting off.
Something even more profound began happening though. For the first time ever in my life I began to see these same people that had introduced me to the nutrition in a way that was so amazing to me. They really seemed to care about me. They cared about me as a person. The showed such love and such compassion. And they had taken the time to connect me with so many others that also showed me the same loving support, encouragement. It was so surprising to me as I had never truly felt loved and accepted for me. Yet here were these strangers that would write me emails, call me, send me messages on face book and text me all with this overwhelmingly genuineness about me and my health. They all truly seemed to care about my success and not only in weight loss but as a whole…healing my body, mind and soul. It is then that my journey began to take on a different course. I finally was beginning to understand the concept of love. And although it scarred me as love had been painful in my past and loving meant allowing your heart to be open to being hurt. But I just couldn’t help myself. I was so drawn to this feeling of love and I truly had yearned for that love for my entire life.
Now 91/2 to 10 months into my journey I had shed 200lbs and was elated as one might imagine someone would be as they lay in a hospital bed unable to even sit up on my own much less get up or exercise. All the weight I had shed to this point had solely been because of the phenomenal nutrition I was putting in my body!
I was finally able to not only sit up on my own but I was standing on my own 2 feet and could even take a few steps! Doctors had said I would never walk again when the cut all the muscles and tendons in my left leg and ultimately causing me to have secondary truncal lymph edema. In laymen terms means I have a disease that makes my abdomen, back and chest fill with fluid. So the success I was having in gaining strength and independence was such a blessing; one that was mostly unexpected but so was the rest of this journey thus far.
1 year and 5 months into my journey I reached an amazing feat of shedding 300lbs off of my body. I honestly couldn’t believe it. It was so shocking to me that I was still able to shed weight. Anything I had tried before would have long since quit working and or I would have given up trying. This was different in so many ways and I was feeling so blessed.
That is when I got to go to Celebration 2010. Thanks to the kindness and generosity of so many of the Isa Family who supported me, encouraged me and spent hours collaborating ingenious ideas on how to get me to celebration so I too could celebrate with the rest of the family. And what can I say except that it was the most elating, most profound, most life changing experience I have ever had in my life. I was surprisingly surrounded by LOVE. I was received with open arms by thousands. I felt as if I had come home to the family filled with love that I had so yearned for my entire life. It was such bliss.
Here I am almost 1 year later filled with more love than I could have ever imagined. I am 15lbs from reaching the 400lb club! That is nearly half of my body weight off my body! My belly has shrunk from laying atop my feet all the way to sitting just above my knees! Can you imagine my joy when I discovered that I had knees under all that! And I cannot imagine missing out on the bliss and joy of all the love and excitement of Celebration 2011 and that is why I humbly ask for your support and generosity.
I am touched to my very soul by the honesty, integrity and compassion of Isagenix as a family. I am blessed every single day by the love, generosity, compassion, encouragement and support of so many and finally able to love me. I am finally able to love others and finally able to truly allow others to love me as well. I have never felt so loved and so fulfilled as I share this journey with so many others. I find it such a humbling experience and live in such gratitude to know that I have such a powerful story of HOPE and perseverance. I have a story about LOVE and healing. Healing that happened because of the love of so many and the gift of hypnosis that was shared as well. And I am so excited and thrilled that I to have now become a certified hypnotist! That is why I find it so important to share this blessing of this nutrition and the gift of hypnosis together as the nutrition feeds the body and allows the body to do its perfect work but unless and until you begin to work on the broken spirit and change the perception of the subconscious mind you may never hold onto your success as you like me may keep reverting back to the old self sabotaging and negative ways without even realizing that is what you are doing.
I have an amazing story of how an every day average girl can be transformed into a beautiful gift for the world to receive and I finally am able to see that I have this beautiful gift to share with the world.
If I can with this phenomenal nutrition and the love of this amazing Isa family make this journey anyone can! This gift is within each and every one of us that has had the blessing of this nutrition. We must reach deep within our soul and offer ourselves to others; Be of service to this world. Together we are Isagenix and together we are changing this world one person at a time.
I am just about to reach the 400lbs club which is a phenomenal feeling. I am getting healthier and stronger everyday. I plan in my very near future to go on to break the records of being the first 500lbs club and 600lbs club in Isagenix. I also plan to continue to work on healing and releasing all that weighed down my soul for so many years. As I continue to grow in love and self worth I plan to continue to share all that I am and all that I have to offer with everyone I meet.
I am Dana and I am a certified hypnotist, I have an incredible life story about weight loss but more importantly I have a life story about a broken spirit that has begun healing through the love of many that may just restore hope and encourage another soul that feels that same hopelessness that I once did.
I now humbly ask if you are so inclined in your heart to donate however small or large please know that every single gift of love absolutely makes a difference and is so greatly appreciated. You will find an easy Pay Pal button that you can click and donate with or if you are more comfortable with mailing your gift my address is:
Dana Barnett
84 Clifton Drive
Watsonville, CA 95076
With all my love & In such humble gratitude I send love and light to each of you~Dana
